420 Blaze It

[Nasira]

Nasira zoned out, staring out the dormitory's grimy window as new age music murmured through her headphones, drowning out the noisy sound of tires rolling over asphalt and the hum of the recreation room's Keurig. 

Her phone buzzed.

From: THOMAS  4/20/?? 4:20pm
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what u up to?

From: ME      4/20/?? 4:20pm
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Not much.

From: THOMAS   4/20/?? 4:20pm
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u at your dorm?

From: THOMAS   4/20/?? 4:20pm
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can i copy your chem hw?

She got another text.

From: PERTH    4/20/?? 4:22pm
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Yo, queen of the crickets! Did you get my text?

From: ME       4/20/?? 4:24pm
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Sorry. My phone died.

From: PERTH    4/20/?? 4:24pm
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Did you finish the chem hw?

From: ME       4/20/?? 4:25pm
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Yeah.

From: PERTH    4/20/?? 4:25pm
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What's the answer to 4 and 10?

From: ME       4/20/?? 4:26pm
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4 is flourine uranium carbon
potassium oxygen flourine
flourine, and 10 is scandium
ruthenium boron lepton oxygen roentgen deuterium.

From: PERTH    4/20/?? 4:26pm
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Thanks!

From: PERTH    4/20/?? 4:28pm
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YOU BITCH!

From: PERTH    4/20/?? 4:28pm
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You think I don't know that
spells "fuck off, scrublord?"

Her stomach growled. Removing her headphones, Nasira walked out of her room and into the recreation room the Blackbloods shared. Somebody had left a plate of brownies on the coffee table. That could not go unpunished!

She ate one. 

[Perthmail]

As if waiting for the queen of crickets herself, Perthmail had a glass of beer in his hand. His phone resting on the countertop. "You are such a fucking troll Nasira, that is the last time I bring you cookies from Tug's bakery. You absolute shitlord." He then proceeded to chug down the glass of beer before refilling it afterward.

Wait were those brownies?

"Where the fook did those come from?"

[Taylor]

"Bob..."

There was no answer from foot of her bed, where the unicorn had splayed himself out like a skydiver, taking up most of the queen sized mattress.

"Did you eat those pot brownies I got?"

Again, there was no answer. Taylor sighed, knowing that the stupid unicorn could definitely hear her. She grabbed the nearest stuffed animal and chucked it at Bob, who merely twitched his back leg, before slowly allowing his head to rise.





"What do y'all want? No, I didn't eat the brownies, but I did eat the lollipops!" Bob exclaimed, with a mischievous grin.

Taylor grabbed her face in frustration and slowly dragged her fingers down.

"Are you fuckin' kidding me? JESUS Christ Bob, I told you those were for the party later!"





Meanwhile, Clopin proudly strolled away from the common room where he had just placed the brownie platter that he pilfered from Taylor.

"That'll show those pompous salauds not to mess with the gypsy prince!"

He pulled out his phone to send a quick text to one of his numerous partners in crime.

 From: ME     4/20/?? 4:30pm
  -----------------------------------------
hades, those bastards nasira and perthmail stole my dear book of comebacks! i need it back, and i need your help to fuck their shit up!

[Nasira]

Nasira nearly jumped out of her skin. She had assumed she was the only one in the dorm. Her mind went back to half an hour earlier and inwardly cringed. She hoped Mal did not run into Perthmail on the way out. 

"...aren't you supposed to be in class?" Nasira asked suspiciously. "Don't tell me you skipped again. I swear you're going to get expelled at this rate."

She ate another brownie. At Perthmail's last question, the med student shrugged. "Fuck if I know. Somebody just left them there."

[Jenn]

Hades looked down at his phone screen, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at the text from Clopin.
"What is it?" Jenn asked, not taking her eyes away from the video game the two were playing.
"Clopin."
"Ah," Jenn sighed, she didn't need to hear any more than that, "Well, whatever you two are doing, count me out. I gotta head back to my room anyway, I told Tay I'd help with homework.



 From: ME     4/20/?? 4:32pm
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 Fine. But you owe me. Where?




Getting up from the couch, he followed Jenn out the door, where the two parted ways, she heading to her room, while he waited for a reply from Clopin.
His phone going off again, he thought it was Clopin's reply, but instead was met with


 From: Jenn      4/20/?? 4:33pm
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 Whatever you're doing, make
 sure I won't have to bail
 you out of jail.


Jenn placed her phone back in her pocket as she opened the door to her room, 
"Hey Tay, hey Bob, what's up?"

[Clopin]

The phone buzzed in Clopin's pocket, and he paused in his step, typing back a response to Hades.

 From: ME     4/20/?? 4:30pm
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let's meet at my dorm, and we will figure out a plan from there.





He took out his keys and unlocked the door to his dorm, only to see his roommate performing some sort of strange ritual. He silently closed the door, and texted Hades again.

 From: ME     4/20/?? 4:30pm
  -----------------------------------------
perhaps we should meet in the courtyard...roommate is doing some weird shit with potions.




Taylor whirled around on one foot to face Jenn, who had just come back into their dorm room.

"Jenn! Freaking Bob ate my pot brownies for the party later and now I don't know what to bring besides this bottle of booze." Taylor said, pointing towards the glass bottle sitting near her nightstand.

Bob rolled his eyes, and sat up, shifting into his human form so hopefully, he'd be less dizzy.

It didn't help.

"Well, if y'all need me, I'll be here doing....somethin'."



"Like what?" Taylor asked.


"Is that...is that a dragon sitting on top of your head?!" Bob said, as he broke into a fit of giggles.

Taylor's hands quickly flew up to her head, and there was indeed a small dragon there.

"BOB! For the last time stop conjuring shit when you're high as hell!"

[Perthmail]

Nasira's reaction had Perthmail grinning like a damn gone Cheshire Cat. Grinning at the woman and quirking a brow. "Now why would I be skipping class? I told you already I wasn't doing that for the rest of the year, I don't have my next class until four. It's only like one at the moment, Nassy~" He teased lightly.



At the information that she didn't know where those damn brownies came from he frowned. He frowned incredibly loudly. "What you mean you don't know where they came from? And you still ate one? Are you crazy?? They could be poisoned!"

[Nasira]

Nasira stared at Perthmail in utter disbelief. "One, huh? Maybe in California." She held up her phone. On its screen read a bleak a quarter till five. "That perfect attendance award is practically yours," Nasira quipped. She subsequently pointed to her boyfriend's beer. "Even if it was still one, do you really think it's a good idea to be drinking before a class?"

She shrugged. "They taste okay to me. Since you're here, you should try some. Just don't eat too many of them."

Half an hour later, Nasira was in the kitchen. Her phone buzzed again. She set her chef's knife down on the cutting board and left the counter unattended. Her silver tabby Mystic immediately hopped up and ate some of the fish her owner had been chopping.

From: UNKNOWN  4/20/?? 5:15pm
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enjoy that book of comebacks while you still can

Whumpa whumpa whumpa whumpa. The tumultuous roar of an attack helicopter shook the dormitory. Nasira groaned. "This is exactly why I told you to call pest control, Perthmail," she chastised. "Now our dorm's practically a war zone!" She pushed open the nearest window so that the gerbil-sized helicopter could fly away to freedom. "Shoo."