Puppet of the People

[Clopin]

(OOC: Characters from ALL armies are welcome. This will take place in Paris, but for this particular day, all borders and portals are open to pass through, for the sake of RP and just general fun. The plot of this is for Clopin to somehow retrieve his book of comebacks from Nasira, while messing with everyone by having his puppet run things for the day. This is NOT canon, just a relaxed, funny thread. For Rogues, your characters can be in the throne room with mine, or just milling about Paris. As for the Blackbloods and Freedom Fighters, they are permitted to be in Paris visiting. Your characters can be doing whatever they want, even down to committing crimes.)

"Clo--I mean, mon roi, it's time to wake up."

A paw gently pushed the king's shoulder, which prompted him to roll away from Virgil, and deeper into the coccoon of blankets he'd made for himself.

"Not today. I don't want to deal with the stupidities of stolen cows or overpriced bread. I had enough of that yesterday." Clopin mumbled. Virgil frowned, and nudged him once more.

"You do this every day. How is it any different today? You're the king! You have to run the country!" Virgil said. A hand snuck out from out of the blankets, waving the shepherd away.

"Castle and Hades can handle it for today. I want to sleep, Virgil, don't you understand?" Clopin said. As he waited to hear the door shut behind Virgil, a brilliant idea came to him, prompting him to shoot up out of bed, scaring Virgil to death.

"WHAT?! What is it?? Did something bite you? Are you okay?!" Virgil yelped, as he darted over to Clopin. The king shook his head from side to side, and pulled himself out of bed.

"Fetch me my clothes. I have an idea." Clopin said, with a devilish grin.

-----------------

"So let me get this straight. He decided that he didn't want to deal with things today, and decided to just let his puppet handle things? Am I hearing things? Cause this sounds like a load of bull--"

"Taylor!" Bob screeched. The young woman crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes, before narrowing them at the unicorn.

"Oh c'mon Bob, don't act all sanctimonious. I've heard you cuss before."

"Can you two stop bickering? This is a matter of national security! I think the war's caused him to go completely insane!" Dante barked.

"Nah, he's always been off his rocker just a little bit. Let's just talk to him." Taylor said.

"As you wish," Dante sighed, "but don't act surprised when---you'll see when we get to the palace."

-----------------

"Open borders for today! We, and yes, today we are using the royal we, wish to open the borders for everyone, from every corner of the world!"

The nobles murmured amongst themselves as they watched the gypsy king speak through the puppet in a strangely high-pitched voice. The "puppet" then broke into some song about the rains in Africa, before the doors were thrown open by Bob, Taylor, and Dante.

"Oh...you weren't kidding. Clopin, are you serious?? You can't be the king and act like a kid!" Taylor yelled. A nobleman near her nudged her, and spoke in a hushed voice.

"He can't hear you. Apparently, it seems you can only speak to the puppet...but in the form of a...song.."

"Oh for fuck's sake."

-----------------

"You stole a book? It doesn't look very important to me." Corson said, trotting alongside Nasira. Alastor flanked her on the other side, with Facilier upon his back. The two of them were observing the Parisians, who had been given free rein by the "king" to do whatever they wished.

"Is it just me, or do things seem off to y'all?" Facilier asked.

"According to the conversations I've been hearing, King Clopin's gone insane. The only way to speak to him is through song, and to a puppet." Alastor said.

"So what's the book got to do with good old King Clopin?" Facilier asked, narrowing his eyes at Nasira.

[Nasira]

"It's all part of the pl-" Nasira froze mid-sentence as her eyes glazed over. She was having a vision! :O "All is lost," she said in a calm but vacant tone. "We are nothing but pawns in the game of life of an American entrepreneur, animator, voice actor and film producer and his multinational mass media and entertainment conglomerate. Every single one of us is now trapped in a remotely hosted message board service that is supposed to facilitate online discussions. There we are fodder for twenty-something-year-olds who put together this dystopian world where we are forced to fight to the death."

A disembodied hand suddenly shoved a script in Nasira's face. While she - willingly - did her line read, you open up a new tab to watch Jacksepticeye. Unfortunately, you forgot to install AdBlocker:

After impulse buying a box, you close the tab.

"...and that's why I stole the Book of Comebacks," Nasira finished.

"Um, what was that about the pineapple?" Thomas asked. For some other contrived reason, he was here too. Whatever.

[Kula]

Free crime. Y'know. A big bucket of fuckit.

Why was Kula in Paris? Who knew. Who cared. She was in the fashion capital of the world -- or what would be the fashion capital of the world, at some point. Whatever fashion meant. For some reason today it mattered a whole heckin' lot though. Crime was legalized so to speak. Why not have a bit of fun? Who was really going to stop a lioness from trotting into the Louvre and stealing the sapphire set of some dead Queen Marie Schmerie?

No one, that's who. Thus we find Kula padding into the throne room, head awkwardly tilted to keep the silver diadem perched precariously upon her head as the rest of her sparkled and tinkled with a melody of fine chain.

"Sup, losers."

[Marahute]

Crimson hues scan the throne room in silent observation; taking note of the positions of everyone in the room from Kula to Clopin, Bob, Taylor and Dante to name a few. Marahute focuses on the throne Clopin currently occupies and a curious coo-like noise leaves the enormous birds curved beak. Slowly, and as inconspicuously as a bird her size can, Marahute begins to make her way towards the throne. Hopefully by the time she's waded through the enormous crowd gathered to observe the King of France's apparent descent into insanity the throne will be vacant and the giant bird can claim it as her own.

---------------

Nevada stands quietly in the shadows near the back of the throne room, watching the insanity evolve around him. A brow raised slightly as a lioness struts into the throne room decked from nose to tail in an assortment of precious jewels and gemstones no doubt stolen but he makes no move to try and snatch any of the priceless items. No, Nevada learned long ago how to pick his battles correctly and fighting a lioness as famed as Kula for something as ridiculous as stolen jewellery is not a fight he wants to pick today.

Not when a far more challenging prize lies unguarded in the church at Notre Dame; La Fidèle, a glorious bell decorated with far more valuable jewels and gems than the silly little sapphire set. The former Mafia Leader watches as Marahute begins to make her way towards the throne slowly and takes the opportunity to slip out of the throne room while most people are distracted to meet up with his accomplices.

[Kopa]

Kopa sighed. Paris. How about that? He hadn't planned on coming, but Hercules insisted. "Why are we here, Herc?" Hercules jumped. "Can't a guy get a croissant without being hassled?" Hercules complained. Kopa seemed to roll his eyes.
He then looked to Aladdin. "Bro, are you watching freaking YouTube right now?" He said with a glare.
Aladdin looked up. "Could you be quite? I'm trying to watch a cat playing the piano!" Kopa seemed to get angry. "We are literally in Paris right now and you're watching YouTube?"
Aladdin shrugged.

[Tabs]

Tabs showed up enigmatically from thin air, as ya do. The creature floated almost directly overhead of the bulk of the other Blackbloods. His shit-eating grin(s) were unusually shit-eating at present. Red eyes peered around eagerly. Tabs was rather excited for some reason.

A boom mic appeared at his side and he clutched it with a claw. He began to lower it below him. One or two of his hooves dangled down as well.

...

And the Gourmand was there too. Ruh roh.

[Deleted]

"Wow, so this is Paris. What a fine-lookin' town, don't you think Zacchaeus?"

The little skunk nodded as Johnny Appleseed wandered the roads leading towards the lair of the king of thieves. One thing led to another, and before anyone knew it, there was a thin twenty-something man dusting off the metal pot on his head standing in the main court of the King of the Rogues, dusting off his metal pot/hat and then placing an ornery skunk on his shoulder.

"Well, I'll be! A secret hideout. Gosh, Ma always told me to stay away from those roguish people and their secret hideouts, but this seems like too much fun to miss out on! Name's Johnny Appleseed, and I brought treats!"

The young man beamed and shuffled in his bag, and brought out several LARGE corked bottles. "Plenty of apple beer for everyone! Drink 'till the alcohol knocks you out." He noticed the puppet in the hand of Clopin and sighed happily. "Well, hello there little puppet. I'm sure you want to drink to, don't you?"

He rummaged in his bag and pulled out a perfectly sized mug of apple beer for the puppet. "Would you like some?"

[Clopin]

Clopin yawned, making absolutely no effort to hide how tired he was. Drinking late at night never worked well for him the next morning. It was not a worry though; Puppet had things handled.

Several newcomers came into his throne room, and while on any other normal day he would have attacked them, he decided to let Puppet choose what to do, now that the borders were open.

A hard cider was offered to Puppet by a young man who smelled strongly of apples.

"AH! Exactly what I needed, thank you mon ami!" Puppet exclaimed, in a high pitched tone. Clopin used his other hand to chug the cider, with a shrug of his shoulders.

If the gods wanted him drunk by noon, who was he to deny that?

A lioness who looked much like Scar came into the throne room, wearing the crown jewels of a queen whose king had ruled some time ago. Again, the king could care less. The silver diadem was perched precariously on Kula's head, with a smug smile on her face.

"Those jewels fit you well, dear lioness!" Puppet called out.

Taylor had to resist dragging her fingers down her face. Clopin really had gone mad.

"Am I the ONLY sensible one here?" Taylor asked, to no one in particular. Bob, who had inconspicously stolen an apple from Johnny's knapsack, lowered his head to her level, chewing on the apple like a cow would.

"No, but if this is how Clopin wants to run things, it'll be fun, don't y'all think? Sophia and I were gonna summon some stuff, do y'all wanna join?" Bob asked, his tail beginning to wag like some oversized dog. His pink tail nearly smacked Marahute, as the golden eagle slowly began to make her way towards the throne.

"I would like to join!"

Clopin materialized out of nowhere, the puppet on his arm leading him as he jumped onto Bob's back.

"Onwards! We will have a parade today in honor of the open borders, but we still have much to do! There is no time for summoning things!" Puppet screeched.

"AND! THAT EVIL WITCH NASIRA STOLE MY BOOK OF COMEBACKS! I JUST REALIZED THIS NOW!" Clopin screeched, suddenly noticing the strangely empty spot on the podium where he kept the book in his throne room.

"We must get it back!" Clopin urged Puppet, who shook his head.

"Parade first, book later!"

Bob gladly did as he was told, trotting out of the throne room with Clopin and Puppet on his back. Taylor and Dante exchanged glances, and followed behind the two of them, rethinking their own sanity.


----------------------------
"....I see." Facilier said, raising a brow. Nasira's vision was strange, to say the least, but he'd seen much stranger. Whatever this book of comebacks was, he was sure that the gypsy king would try to steal it back at one point or another.

"And Thomas! How'd y'all get here so quickly? I told y'all to bring some canteloupe, not pineapple!" Facilier said, dragging the poor young lad by the collar before he could escape. He then cast Thomas aside to follow Nasira. Alastor and Corson walked calmly alongside the two, reveling in the pure chaos that was surrounding them. The feeling was making them quite giddy, and as if they were two giant foals, they began to leap onto the walls and perform some strange acrobatic routines off of whatever they could jump off of.

"PARKOUR!" Alastor announced, as he somersaulted past Nasira.
"PARKOUR!" Corson bellowed, leaping over Facilier.

"Parkou--MOTHERFU-!" Alastor yelled, as he tumbled headfirst into a stone wall.

He knew his weakass bones wouldn't work with him.

[Nasira]

"I guess I better get this back to Shiloh then." Thomas could have had a promising future in telemarketing or assembly work had he not committed the reprehensible, unforgivable atrocity of showing up late to a meeting. He would have been lucky to find work as a traffic cone. After going for days without so much as a chicken nugget, Thomas finally found work as Edgar's guinea pig and gained a bunch of superpowers: the power to be invisible when no one's looking, the power to move through time at the speed of time, the power to teleport himself to where he's currently standing and the power to believe it's not butter.

SPLAT!

Nasira's hair flipped like something between a L'Oréal commercial and a jet engine. "Thomas!" she barked like a seal. "Pick that up!"

"Okie dokie!" Thomas dutifully scraped Alastor off the wall with a spatula while humming "Get Low." Nasira had not felt this devastated since Perthmail drowned in a puddle.

"Let's go," Nasira told Facilier, pulling herself together. She screwed on her right arm. 

"Why?" Thomas whined like a poorly played violin.

"AND! THAT EVIL WITCH NASIRA STOLE MY BOOK OF COMEBACKS! I JUST REALIZED THIS NOW!"

Nasira pointed up at the quote as a sad trombone sound played.

"Oh."