Mourn With The Moon

[Kiara]

March 17th/18th -- shortly after midnight.
Open to Shani and Kiara.

---

"- identifying the sick or injured." Kiara blinked, head rising slightly. It felt as though a cloud had passed over her mind. She shook her head to clear it in a quick twitching motion before looking up. Seated upon the crown of Pride Rock she had the entirety of their kingdom spread before her, a painting of warmth and green that stretched out to the feet of snow-capped mountains. A breeze carrying the warmth of sun and tinged with the spice of savannah life kissed her cheeks and tousled her fur with gentle fingers. Tension in Kiara's shoulders eased.

What had she been doing? She'd thought that there had been something wrong, but even as she groped for the reason why it slipped farther and farther out of her reach. Strange... Looking up the lioness blinked again. Nala regarded them with brows slightly rising in question.

"Huh?"

Of course - her lessons! She must have started daydreaming. The smile Kiara directed at her mother was sheepish, ears tilting back slightly. Nala chuffed out a chuckle, eyes patient.

"I said with the coming of the rains it will be harder following the herds to use scent for identifying the sick or injured. How might we tell which animals need to be culled from the herds?"

Crimson eyes moved to scan the Pridelands below as Kiara thought. She knew the answer to this... She remembered this lesson. This had been the day they began her lessons on the behaviors of those animals native to the sun-kissed kingdom. The voice Kiara used was hesitant with confusion. "We... Use our eyes, ears, and noses to see who isn't acting how they're supposed to."

"That's r̶͕̟̞̬̋̋̂͋̔͌͝͝i̸̭͙͇̎̀̃̾͊̕ģ̷̳̫̬̰̪͚̼̠͕̱̖̋̅̔̔̊̀̔͝h̶̡̡͈̹̤̄͜t̷͖̜̯̩̭̮̘͛̽͐̏̀͐́̈́͗̇̎̽̌̾̕ͅ.̶̟͚͓̦̍͒͆̑̈"

Kiara's gaze snapped back to her mother. Canines digging into her lip stifled a scream as Nala turned eyes black as pitch upon the younger lioness. Tar dripped from those eyes like fouled tears upon the lioness' cheeks and bubbled forth from her lips like blood. Caught in that gaze Kiara was dimly aware of the scene around them changing, peace melting away like the dying wax of a candle. Instead they were now surrounded by the noises of the mob.

Screams, shots, exclamations of the dying. They rang out in a song that filled Kiara's mind with dread and quickened her pulse to a painful pace. Nala's expression remained horrifically hollow even as venom filled her voice.

No--

"T̸͈͊͂̃͗́͘ŗ̴͓̀̈̈́̂̌̽̄̃̎̿̚͝͝a̴̡̰̺͇̋̔į̵͕̏̈́̈̽͋̇͐̌́ͅţ̸̤̙̣̻̘̫̲͎̙̩̺̞̔̚͜͜o̵̡̠̬͕̠͎͍̙͐͝ͅr̷̛̺̘̱̒͌̿͌̚̚͠ ̷̼̟̣͉̩̜̮͍̫̺͂c̶̡̛͎̫͎̦͛̄̋̏̾̔̑͗̈́͌͜h̷̛̝͍̪̭̯͍͍͍͎͈̮̣̖̋͂́̀̈́̍̎̓̃̾͑͘͜ͅį̷͈͍̤͙͔̼̤͈͙̑̀̅̊̂̄̾̂͌͋̎̚͝l̸̢͇̟͇̈́͊̎̉͗͘d̸̡̤̬̠̬̩̳̩͍̥̥̝̉̋̿̀́̀̌̿̕̚"

"_{Mom, please-}"

A roar screamed out Kiara's name as clawed paws shoved her from Pride Rock, tumbling into an empty abyss.

---

With a jolt Kiara awoke. Staggering to her paws the girl-child shook free of the blankets and fled -- jaws clenched painfully around panic as she scrambled out the barn door. She managed to get around the corner of the barn before her stomach emptied its contents in the snow. Between the burning of her throat and the lingering fear from her nightmare Kiara couldn't help the shaking sob that broke from her as she slumped, leaning against the rough wood.

[Shani]

Shani let out a soft, tired sigh as she padded across the barn, checking on patients and making sure everyone was as comfortable as they could be. Aside from a few short naps throughout the day, she wasn't running on much sleep. There was too much to do, and trying to sleep gave her mind an opportune time to dwell on all the horrible things that had happened.

Most everyone had settled down for the night, leaving a quiet hush over the barn, only broken by soft snoring, or the occasional cough. Thus, the sudden sound of paws scrambling on the wooden floor was easily heard by Shani's heightened hearing. With knitted brows, the adolescent followed the direction the sound had gone, her medic pack still clamped in her jaws.

It didn't take long to find who had fled the barn in such a rush. Turning the corner, Shani almost bumped right into Kiara, stopping just short of her head bumping into the other's shoulder. 
Smelling the sick coming off of the other's fur, as well as the sound of sobs and shivers, Shani carefully placed her pack down, shuffling around inside it before taking out an herb and placing it on the ground next to Kiara.

"It'll help calm your stomach," was all she said.

Shani took a step back and sat her haunches down, ignoring the slightly stinging feeling of cold that the others described was "snow". She wasn't sure if her presence was needed, or even wanted, it was still up in the air about what the royal family thought of her, after everything that had happened. But she was there, if Kiara wanted to talk.

[Kiara]

With the tendrils of the dream still fighting to keep their grip from slipping away it took a moment for Kiara to realize that her flight had not been into complete solitude. Only when Shani spoke up did Kiara's eyes open, her head lifting to take in the other lioness with a wide-eyed expression. Her eyes traveled down to the offered herb and it was with some hesitation that the leaves were scooped up into a paw. Kiara sniffed a few times as the medicine was pushed past trembling lips. A pawful of snow eased the swallowing on her sore throat and helped wipe away the taste of leaf and bile.

All this gave Kiara a few precious breaths to find some kind of composure above broken sobs and panicked panting, but the voice that finally escaped was still halting. "Shani... I..." There were so many thoughts fighting within her mind, so many emotions. Kiara's throat worked soundlessly for a moment as she searched the face of a lioness she had once called friend.

"I-I think... I understand what you said. Before, about..." A shuddering breath had to be sucked in as her ribcage tightened around her lungs. "About my dad dying. About... Being glad."

The next question seemed... Too forward, but it needed to be asked. Kiara needed to know. "After your mom, did --" She had the decency to look away at least, muzzle twisted in a grimace as her words fell to a whisper. "Does it get easier...? Does it hurt less?"

[Shani]

An ear twitches when Kiara speaks, listening to the strained voice. Shani felt a twinge of guilt when her harsh words to Kopa were brought up. She had been angry, the entire situation had gotten heated, and there was probably a better way to say what she had said.
"I..."
She couldn't bring herself to say she hadn't meant it, because on some level, she had meant it. She still blamed Simba for her mother's death, but maybe she wouldn't have been so harsh with her words if things had happened differently. If Kopa hadn't gotten offensive and kept pushing...

"After your mom, did --
Does it get easier...? Does it hurt less?"

Letting out a soft sigh, she gave a tiny nod,
"The hurt never really goes away, but over time, it lessens. At some point we'll be able to look back on them, look back and just enjoy the happy memories we had with them, not the bad ones."
It was only recently that the blow of her mother's death had quelled, becoming less of a sharp rock in her chest, and more so a small pebble.
But now there was another death to deal with, one that she was trying not to dwell over, lest she end up in the same place she was after her mother's death.

"The most we can do right now is support each other. Support each other, support our families, and support the army. We're all in a dark spot, but it'll pass with time, as long as we take the time to build each other up, and be there for each other."

[Kiara]

"I..." Kiara's gaze remained fixated on the ground as she spoke, shame keeping her from daring to look up. It didn't seem to matter that Shani wouldn't know the difference -- Kiara felt as though she couldn't look the other in the eye. After everything that had happened in the past week, all the truths that had come to life about their parents... She felt as though she was unworthy to look Shani in the eye and speak her piece. Shani could at least take in the good memories. Kiara's own were tainted with the knowledge of her parents' evil actions, and those moments seemed to stain even the most joyful of her familial recollections.

Her father had sent Shani's mother to her death knowing what laid in wait. Her mother had betrayed the tiger that had adopted Shani as his daughter, and Nala's actions had led to Jasper's death. The reason that the dull-eyed lioness was alone now was entirely the fault of Kiara's parents.

All along... Shani had been right. The royal family hadn't been concerned with saving anyone's hide but their own.

Kiara didn't know how to begin addressing that. But she could try.

"How can you say that...? My parents, they... If they hadn't... We're all here because of what they did." The lioness shifted her weight onto her haunches as she leaned against the wall, rubbing at stinging eyes with paws that shook. "No one should want us around and, and I... I can't blame them. You shouldn't want to help me, or, or any of us. You have more right than any of them to hate us. You were right, about all of us, all along," The tears ran hot under Kiara's paws as her words came faster, stumbling a bit as she choked them out. "And here we are again. You should hate me, but you're helping me instead? You're so strong, and you help everyone -- and you didn't deserve..."

You didn't deserve to lose everyone too.

"Shani -- I -- I'm sorry Shani, I'm so sorry. I never wanted him to die...!!"

[Shani]

Hearing Kiara's voice crack and strain as she spoke, letting out everything that was on her mind, caused a tight feeling in Shani's chest. She could hear the sadness, the anger, the self doubt, all of it bubbling over as grief took it's cruel grasp on them both. Silently she sat there, shuffling slightly as the snow's cold bite started to sting at her paws, but otherwise not making a sound until Kiara had let all of her thoughts out.

"Shani -- I -- I'm sorry Shani, I'm so sorry. I never wanted him to die...!!"

With little more than a flick of an ear, Shani stood with a blank expression and walked up to Kiara.
There was a moment of silence, then she pressed her head against the other's shoulder, 
"I don't blame you," came her soft voice, muffled by orange fur, "None of this was your fault."

Carefully she moved to sit down next to Kiara, her own body slightly pressed against the other, both as a form of comfort, as well as a means for both of them to stay just a little bit warm.
"You're not your parents, their actions don't reflect you, or any of your siblings. Just like Zam, or Nev... or Jasper's actions don't reflect me or Boso."
She let out a tiny sigh, noticing the tickle of her own breath on her nose, how strange.
"You were angry, we all were angry for our own reasons, none of us were thinking straight. From what I could tell, you and your siblings were kept pretty sheltered for a long while, so it makes sense that you would have sided with family rather than those in the army at first. I can't blame you for that."

"The others will come to see that too, in time. We're all in this together now, and we need everyone to help each other now more than ever. If I have to find a way to get everyone to see that, then by the great kings, I will."

[Kiara]

Kiara didn't know what she'd expected, but when Shani's head pressed against her fur she flinched upright. Paws fell away enough to expose shocked eyes.

Oh... Oh.

Shani's words broke something in Kiara. The lock on a gate rusted and creaking to hold back a deluge shattered as though made of brittle ice. She wasn't even sure why exactly she was crying. She was hurt, she was relieved, she was grieving. A smile appeared on that tear-stained face; shaky and small, but present despite the tears. It just... Felt so good to hear those words, to feel as though something might actually end up being okay. Even if nothing else got better Kiara could at least work to protect this friendship.

Kiara slowly leaned back into Shani with her chin sliding up to rest on the other's head as she cried. "_{Thank you.}"

For a few moments she simply let the tears fall and the emotions flow, giving them the release that they had so needed. Hiccups gave way to slower breathing and the quiet, tired calm born of exhaustion. "... Maybe I could help you. If," Sounding almost shy the lioness slid away a whisker-length, enough to pull her head from the other. "I mean, if... It wouldn't be too much trouble. If it's okay with you? I just..." Crimson eyes rose hesitantly. "I want to be more like you."