Incorrect Conquest Quotes

[Nasira]

Kattz: The only thing I will be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother!
Owl: Good lord.

- - -

Thomas: I think we have a problem.
Crow: What? The fire?
Thomas: No, the – wait, what fire?
Crow: Oh, forget about it. This sounds more interesting.

- - - 

Hikaru: I’m going to bed.
Boso: But it’s noon?
Hikaru: Time isn’t real.

- - -

Aladdin: A cookie just tastes better when it's someone else's.

- - -

Esmeralda: It's a beautiful day! But not as beautiful as me.

- - -

Kattz: There are seven chairs and ten people. What do we do? 

Kula: Have everyone stand. 

Perthmail: The most important ones can sit down. 

Tabs: Make them fight for it. 

Experiment 627: EVIL! EVIL! EVIL! (translation: Knock out three). 

Crow: …Bring three more chairs.

- - -

Sophia: A note? You sneak out and leave me a note?
Bob: I knew you would just argue with me.
Sophia: It wasn’t even a good note, "If you are reading this I am probably dead." What sort of a note is that?!

- - -

Clopin: Oh come on, I wasn't that drunk.
Jasper: You tried to color my face with a highlighter because you told me I was important.

- - -

Zamora: You must be tired.
Boso: No, I’m good. Refreshed and ready to fight some villains!
Zamora: … I was talking to Rapunzel.
Boso: Well, I was talking to Jasper!

- - -

Thomas: Is there health insurance?
Mortaray: There’s the opposite of health insurance. There’s health endangerment, if anything.

- - -

Boso: I’d like everyone to take a moment to think back to a time when they did something stupid, how they were treated, and how they wish they were treated.
Jasper: What did you do, Boso?

[Clopin]

Esmeralda: Frollo better not get in my face, cos I'll drop that motherfucker.

Nasira: Why are you so sweaty?

Perthmail: I was watching Cops.



Clopin: Yeah.. I stabbed a man in the heart.

Virgil: I saw that! You killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?

Clopin: Yeah there were horses and a man on fire and I killed a guy with a trident.

Virgil: Clopin I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safe house or a relative close by. Lay low for a while because you're probably wanted for murder.


Tabs: So tell us Nasira, why make Agrabah's biggest cookie?

Nasira: Well, man from health department say he find rat pellet in pastry but I say no, is big chocolate sprinkle, but he shut store down. So we clean up, make big cookie for to bring customers back.

Tabs: Let's try that again, shall we?


Tabs: [New take] So tell us Nasira, why make Agrabah's biggest cookie?

Nasira: So all the children in the neighborhood will be happy?

Tabs: And isn't it nice to see all their smiling faces?

Mystic: I work in back. I see no smiles.

[Exasperated, Tabs tosses the mic to the counter]

[Vero]

Jasper: I'm not needy
Clopin: You are the definition of needy.
Clopin: Remember when you called me at 3 in the morning to make sure if we were still dating?

----

Nasira: I gave up on being a good person or happy a long time ago, but every morning I wake up and challenge myself to be the most lesbianic I can.

----

Bob: I trust Clopin
Sophia: You think he knows what he's doing?
Bob: I'm not sure I'd go that far.

----

Hades: I'M TOO HOT
Hades: ::points to Meg::
Hades:
Hades:
Hades
Meg: ::sighs::
Meg, monotone voice paired with deadpan expression: hot damn
Hades: CALL THE POLICE AND FIREMEN

----

Crow: What are we going to do tonight, Mistress?
Maleficent: The same as always, we will continue to conquer the world

----

Taylor: I have a salsa emergency
Esmeralda: the condiment or the dance? I am equipped for both!

----

Nasira: I have high standards
Maleficent: ::smiles::
Nasira: Oh no, she's meeting all my standards

----

Esmeralda: when was the last time anything went according to plan?
Clopin: I don't think there was a last time

----

Clopin: All right now, everyone pay attention. I have an announcement to make and I only have a minute.
Shere Kahn: Why? Are you in a hurry?
Clopin: No, I was referring to your relatively short attention spans.

[Kopa]

Kula: Hey Kopa, look at this cool scarf I have!!
Kopa: Cool! Why is it red and like my dad's mane though?
Kula: Cause I got ketchup and fur all over it. *whispers* and some blood.
Kopa: What?
Kula: Nothing.

Meg: Give me a break. *to Hades*
Hades: Ok. Leave.
Meg: No, I mean leave me alone. You're so close all the time.

Aladdin: Um, Nasira? Can't we just be friends?
Nasira: Sure, there's just one thing.
Aladdin: What?
Nasira: YOU KILLED MY BROTHER!
Aladdin: But that was SOOO long ago.
Nasira: It was yesterday.
Aladdin: Crap.

Clopin: Tramp, can I have some of your food??
Tramp: ... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MINE!
Clopin: Tramp... everything is mine.

[Maxwell]

Nuka:  I don't watch anime: I watch MANime.

~*~

Tabs:  Wake up!  Maleficent and Nasira are about to fight!
Perthmail:  Ohh goodie!  I gotta get a good seat!
Tabs:  Hey, where are you going?  If we let this happen, we can just forget about morale around here.
Perthmail:  You're kidding.  Morale?  We've never had morale around here!

~*~

Meg:  Why are you always talking to yourself?
Hades:  Why, I just have a fondness for intelligent conversation.

~*~

Beast:  What the anthropomorphic candlestick hell?

~*~

Clopin:  sigh...  What do I have to do?
Shenzi:  What?
Clopin:  What do I have to do to get you to make you stay down here for tonight.
Shenzi:  A...  65 inch.. plasma screen tv.  With Netflix.
Clopin:  ...Do you want 3D?
Shenzi:  NO, THAT'S A STUPID FUCKING GIMMICK AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT!

~*~

Crow:  I'd sell you to Satan for one corn chip.

~*~

Jasper:  Where's the Cadets?
Kattz:  I ate them.  They were quite tasty too.

~*~

Hikaru:  Someone's going to die.
Rapunzel:  Of fun!!

[Nasira]

Gurri: I'm not looking for trouble.
Shere Khan: *scoffs* What a horrible way to live.

---

Scar: Shoutout to my mom for making the most perfect king ever. 

Sarabi: *cups paws* Congratulations to your sibling!

---

Hikaru: Jail is no fun. I can tell you that much.
Boso: Oh? You've been?
Hikaru: *gazing dramatically into the distance* Once.
Hikaru: In Monopoly.

---

Esmeralda: We have to convince them that they need us. It's not gonna be easy, and they might shoot you a little...

---

Bob: Just because it’s the end of the world doesn’t mean I shouldn’t look my best!

---

Varian: *showing off a new invention* If you hit it at just the right angle, it almost makes the lightsaber noise.

---

Tugson: Where's Shani?

Alice: She's small; she's probably under something.

---

Nasira: One time, Clopin came over here. All he did was lie seductively on the piano and feed himself grapes. I don’t really like that guy, but I admire his lifestyle.

---

Esmeralda: What do you think is the most appropriate solution to overpopulation?
Hades: Contraception.
Dante: Education.
Taylor: Laws that require every orphaned homeless kid to be adopted, so that everyone has their own kids without producing more babies.
Varian: Or we could just fly all the extra kids to Mars.
Jenn: Even better - the Hunger Games.
Esmeralda: Jenn, no.

---

Rapunzel: *to Cassandra* Wanna know how punk I am?!
Rapunzel: *punches a wall*
Rapunzel: ...take me to a hospital.

---

Scar: I love all my children equally
Scar: *earlier that day* I don’t care for Nuka.

---

Nasira: Bruh -
Maleficent: I just had my tongue in your mouth five minutes ago. Don't you dare call me "Bruh."

---

Tabs: I don’t have a nervous system, I AM a nervous system.

---

Experiment 627: EVIL! EVIL! EVIL! EVIL! (translation: What is this place, anyway?)
Nuka: I don't know. This whole place is unmapped.
Scar: It's not unmapped. You lost the map!

---

Gothel: I want to look 25 at the ball. What do you suggest? 

Rapunzel: A time machine.

---

Hades: *to Jenn* You think that disapproving glare works on me after all the times I’ve seen it?

---

Dr. Facilier: How many popsicles have you eaten today? 

Mortaray: *lying in a bed of popsicle wrappers* Now is not the time to talk about my personal flaws as a human.

---

Perthmail: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism. 

Nasira: And you came to me?!

---

Kovu: Okay. We'll figure this out. Nuka, let's go over our options. 

Nuka: Options? We have two. We're screwed, and we're more screwed.

---

Maleficent: You go big or you go home. And you don’t seem like the kind of person that goes home.
Crow: I’m not. I don't even really have a home.

[Vero]

Esmeralda: Great invention Varian!

Varian: *holds up jar of peanut butter*

Esmeralda: But the name…

Varian: What’s wrong with ‘Sticky Nut Juice’?

Esmeralda: Everything. Every fucking thing…

---

Nasira: Know why I called you in here?

Maleficent: Because I accidentally sent you a nude picture.

Nasira [stops pouring two glasses of wine]: ...Accidentally?

---

Esmeralda: You’re late!


Jenn: You’re stunning.


Esmeralda: You’re forgiven.

---

Jasper: You made Rapunzel cry!



Boso: Rapunzel always cries!



Rapunzel: [crying] That’s not true!

---

Nuka: What if the zombies eat my brain?


Kula: It'd be a light meal.

---

[Tucker]

Tucker: i’m telling you Benny if I was gay, I’d totally bang you

Ben: But you are gay and you do bang me!
————
Something: *blows up*
Nala: Silver, what did you do?!
Silver: My best.

[Nasira]

Perthmail: Hey, thanks for inviting me over!
Nasira: I didn't invite you over, you just show up to my room every day.
Perthmail: [waves hand] I don’t need a history lesson, Nasira. What's for breakfast?

---

Kovu: [lies] My dad checks under my bed every night for monsters.
Owl: Monsters check under their beds every night for my dad.

---

Jenn: There will come a moment when you’ll have a chance to do the right thing.
Shenzi: Ha! Ha! I love those moments! I like to wave at them as they pass by!

---

Bob: I hate bubbles. Oh sure they’re nice and pretty to begin with. But then the rainbow colors just go POP! Instant downer. Mother fucking bubbles.

---

Jasper: I expected better from you.
Michi: That’s your own fault.

---

Shani: A pet rock is a fun pet until you realize that it’s essentially immortal, and you’ve damned it to an eternity of watching its loved ones die.

---

Sophia: Open up.
Varian: It all started when my father…
Sophia: No, I meant -
Shanty: Wait, let him finish.

---

Gurri: I know we don't always see eye to eye on things but -
Shere Khan: That’s because you’re short.

---

Tramp: Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Dobson: Yeah, break someone’s bones. They have like 206 of those.

---

Clopin: That would go against my moral compass.
Megara: ...
Megara: Your moral compass is a fucking roulette wheel.

---

Kattz: An apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough.

---

Virgil: I’m invoking the "no-judgement" clause of our friendship.
Dante: Oh God, what have you done?

---

Nasira: [accidentally brushes Maleficent's hand with her own]
Maleficent: [aggressively holds Nasira's hand] Fucking commit to it.

---

Turbo: Tucker, please keep an eye on Thomas today. He’s going to say something to the wrong person and get himself punched.
Tucker: Sure, I'd love to see Thomas get punched.
Turbo: Try again.
Tucker: I will…stop Thomas from getting punched?
Turbo: Correct.

---

Aladdin: Oh, fiddlesticks!
Jasmine: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.

---

Nuka: "Let's split up"? Have you never watched a horror movie?
Kula: [to Mystic] Ten dinars says he'll end up in a pit of spikes!

---

Ferto: It's dark, I'm scared!
Hikaru: Don’t worry, I got this. [stomps her feet, causing her Sketchers to light up]

---

Tabs: Feels like you’re being a little harsh.
Crow: Thanks, good note. I was going for extremely harsh, I'll turn it up.

---

Shere Khan: [to Gurri]  You know what they say: a little childhood trauma builds character.

[Huela]

Perthmail: Why do Rogues each occupy a 5ft by 5ft sqare, how far apart do you people need to be? Why are Rouges so afraid of touching.



Shanty: Those are bold words for someone in stabbing range.