Incorrect Conquest Quotes

[Python]

The Gourmand: [To most of the Dawnseekers] You're all cannon fodder, you hear? You're the guys in red shirts from Star Trek.

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Python: I could plead the fifth.

Slugsworth: If you could count that high.

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Zira: But... You're supposed to be in jail.

Kion: Yeah, and you're supposed to be dumpster diving for ham scraps, you six piece chicken McNobody. Get out of my seat!

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Rhea: Look. Every time I move my arm, it costs Disney 42 bucks. 

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Nereus: I'll be dead long before you were born and I'll be dead long before you'll be dead.


_{Space Ghost Coast to Coast is a god send for incorrect quotes.} 

[Flynn Rider]

(First few days in Canada)
Flynn: Y'know what Shanni needs to do is stop being sad. Whenever I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.
(Looks of disbelief and "Really?")
Flynn: True story.

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Rapunzel: One beaver pelt, two Capri-Suns! It's like...I don't even care what happens the rest of the day anymore!

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Nasira, high off her ass, to Mal: Maleficent has no idea I'm high right now.
Mal: You're high?
Nasira: Oh, sorry.
Nasira, to Shiloh: Maleficent has no idea I'm high right now.

---

Flynn: So, uh, Gourmand, how'd you get that name anyways?
GM: Gave it to myself. A real warlord chooses their own name.
Flynn: Well, pleased to meet you, Gourmand. I'm Galactic President Superstar McAwesomeville.

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Rapunzel: I know what I'm saying. Money is a curse.
Flynn, on his knees: THEN MAY GOD SMITE ME WITH IT! AND MAY I NEVER RECOVER!

[Dotty]

Belle: Like, I really want to teach yoga and zen and overall centeredness but I also really like to kill and stab people on the weekends...

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Clopin: The only thing we have to fear is fear itself...and weasels. Those little bastards will get you.

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The Gourmand: Kid, no language on Earth has a word for how little I care. A quantum supercomputer calculating for a thousand years could not even approach the number of fucks I do not give. THE FRIGGIN' HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE COULD NOT—!!

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Shan Yu: Just stay calm. You already have everything you need to beat it.
Cassie: The power to believe in myself?
Shan Yu: No, a knife! Stab it!

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Clopin: ... Well, I can see you've got your own thing goin' on here. Don't wanna intrude. I'll just find myself a spot that isn't full of crying children. Oh, look! There's one now.
Varian: *sobbing* Aren't you gonna ask me what's wrong?
Clopin: Yeah, I'm not pullin' the pin on that grenade.

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Kopa: Shani, Shani, Shani, look, okay, I get it. You had a really bad day. You're stressed out, seven people died—
Shani: TWELVE PEOPLE!
Kopa: Not the point. Look, they're dead now. And really, whose fault is that?
Shani: YOURS!
Kopa: That's right — no one's. So why don't you lie down, relax, and watch the stars with me?
Shani: It's two in the afternoon! There are no stars!
Kopa: Only if you're looking with your eyes.
Shani: WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!

[Nasira]

Frollo: If a demon possessed me, I'd just say "oh cool take it from here and good luck."

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Also Frollo: (throws a chicken nugget out his cell's window) Why don't you like me?
Bob: (pokes head in) Can you throw another? 

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Flynn: You need to react when people cry.
The Gourmand: I did. I rolled my eyes.

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Nereus: I have an idea.
Perthmail: No murder.
Nereus: ...I no longer have an idea.

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Ronno: Okay, how about, for a boy: Boso.
Rolla: Why do you hate our child?

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Jasper: Your insolence goes too far!
Aladdin: Wrong; it can go a lot further.

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Shiloh: I cannot find Nasira.
Shiloh: This calls for drastic measures.
Shiloh: (uses her hands as a megaphone) I SEEM TO HAVE LOST MY HANDKERCHIEF!
Nasira: (at the opposite side of the room) DO NOT SPEAK TO ME OF LOSS.
Shiloh: There she is.

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Shiloh: Did you have dinner?
Nasira: I had a salad.
Nasira: It was actually a fruit salad.
Nasira: Well, it's mostly grapes.
Nasira: Okay, it's all grapes.
Nasira: Fermented grapes.
Nasira:
Nasira: It's wine.
Nasira: I had wine for dinner.

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Kiara: Dad, Nevada is missing. Can you find him?
Jasper: Do you think I have him microchipped or something?
Kiara: Well, do you?
Jasper:
Jasper: Yeah, hang on...

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Nala: Knock knock.
Kanzi: Who's there?
Nala: Nacho.
Kanzi: Nacho who?
Nala: NACHO MOM!

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The Gourmand: Are you two supposed to be here?
Quintus and Septima: Define "supposed to be."

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Taylor: I put the sass in assassin.

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Morren: Pass the salt.
Esca: (throws Thomas across the table)

[Spines]

Genie: Guys! Kopa’s been captured!
Gourmand: Oh no. You sunk my give a ship.

~*~

Jenn: Clo! Be serious!
Clopin: Five minutes is my limit.

~*~

Facilier: That feeling when you feel bugs crawling on you that aren’t there.
Nasira: They’re the ghosts of bugs you’ve killed.
Tabs: I wish I could unhear that.

~*~

Kopa: You all only hate me because you do not like me and I am mean to you. Grow up.

~*~

Shani: My dad has a folder on his computer named Cool Dad and it’s just pictures of himself.

~*~

Septima: *at Quintus* At my funeral there is going to be a closed casket and then it will be revealed I am not inside. Instead, they will turn on a ceiling fan and my lifeless body will swing around the room while the space jam theme song is playing in the background.

~*~

Tzarina: My neutral expression makes me look like I’m in a bad mood which is convenient because it’s usually true.

~*~

Maleficent: I consider my patience a present. Merry Christmas everyone.

~*~

Roja: I hope I don’t turn out to be evil with my evil face, that’d be a twist.

~*~

Morren: *at Maul* Oh my god just die! You’re like Rasputin!

[Jenn]

Chloe: someone will die

Cassie: of fun!

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Cassie: If you were a fruit, what would you be?

Tabs: I would be a tomato, because nobody considers me part of the group.

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Jenn: where’s Varian? It’s getting late.

Emily: in his lab.

-five minutes later-

Clopin, screaming: YOU NEED YOUR REST

Varian: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE

Jenn: *watches Clopin drag a struggling Varian through the room by his ankle*

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Nevada: Can I just have a moment alone with him?

Nevada: Alright, listen faker. I know you’re not actually dead.

Jasper, opening is eyes: yEAH, NO SHIT.

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Clopin: That’s it! You’re in timeout! Get on top of the fridge!

Varian, climbing on top of a fridge: this house is a fuCKING NIGHTMAAARE

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Michi: What's it like to be tall? Is it nice? Can you comfortably reach cupboards?

Ajax: We live in constant fear of the short ones, who in my experience will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table, and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.

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Maleficent: Do you know who I think is the ugliest girl in Shadowglen? That Nasira. Like on a scale of one to ten; one, one would be the ugliest and 10 would be pretty; I would give her an 8… or 8.5… or a 9. Not, not over a 9.8. There is always room for improvement. Not everyone can be perfect like me. Which is why I am holding out for a 10. Because I’m worth it.

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Morren: Can you maybe stop doing creepy shit for like 5 seconds?

Shiloh, pausing his urban legend and cryptid sightings playlist: I have no idea what you’re talking about.

[Dotty]

Clopin: Look, guys, we saved the city!
Agrabah:

[Spines]

Roland:


Spines:

[Tabs]

Nala: *peers in* Are we going to start analyzing bones yet?

Gourmand: Sure Nala, let's start with YOURS. *whips out butcher knife*

Nala:

Nala: *flees*

Gourmand: *dead stare into the fourth wall* I grind the bones of racists.  I mix them in with my milk.

[Kopa]

Kopa: I know I wore the chicken costume around Shani a lot, but I keep hearing her say "BAWK!" Then I realized she was saying...
Shani: KOPA! YOU'RE STEPPING ON MY TAIL, YOU DOLT!
KOPA: Oh...