Incorrect Conquest Quotes

[Vero]

Aladdin: How was your food?

Huela: Amazing! Send my compliments to the chef.

Aladdin: Okay.

Aladdin [yelling towards the kitchen]: YO, SILVER!

Silver: Yeah!?

Aladdin: You have a beautiful smile!

---

Rapunzel: I have cat-like reflexes.

Jasper: Prove it.

Rapunzel: ::sees a cat::

Rapunzel, instantly: I like that cat.

---

Jasper: Shani, why do you smell like weed?

Shani: How do you know what weed smells like, Papa?

Jasper, caught off-guard: I-

Shani: AH! Busted, Papa! You’re grounded for a week!

---

Frollo: [sneezes]

Crow:

Frollo: You're not even going to say "bless you" ?

Crow: I'm sitting here with you, you've clearly been blessed.

---

Zamora: ::Chitter chirps::
Zamora Translation: Thanks again for inviting me over to eat.

Silver: That was not eating. I’ve seen eating. What you did in there was pure chaos.

---

Shanty: Hey dude! Ready to blow up these hot dogs in the microwave one by one?

Varian: [excited] Am I!

[Off screen]

Varian: Yeah!

Shanty: One at a time! One at a time!

---

Aladdin: Hikaru, why are you like this?

Silver: She used too much ‘No More Tears’ shampoo in 1973 and hasn’t felt a single emotion since.

---

Castle: How much did you pay for this?

Clopin: Irrelevant. I would pay any amount of money to properly shame you.

---

Mystic: Okay, okay, lets just try to find a way to solve this problem peacefully-

Kula: PUNCH HIM IN THE THROAT!!

[Nasira]

Revives?

Nevada: On our first date I'll carve our initials into a tree. It's the most romantic way to show you I have a knife. :D

---

Shiloh: I wish you could block people in real life.

Aurelia: Restraining order.

Nasira: Murder.

---

Clopin: Fact, I can jump higher than any tree.

Castle: How is that possible?

Clopin: Trees can’t jump.

Castle: I’m going to kill you.

---

Boso: Some things are better off left unsaid.

Boso: ...which I generally realize after I've said them.

---

Hades: How did you even find me?

Jenn: I thought "where is he?" and then I saw the explosion.

---

Max: When people say "you’re going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in 'till noon because I am a problem solver.

---

Frollo: Do you care if I take the skin off of the Furby?

Frollo: I want to make him a god. Once he is free of his sinful flesh he can begin the path towards enlightenment. He will take care of us. Also I want to softhack his circuits.

Edgar: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.

---

Keto: (to Perthmail) I feel awful about killing you. Even though technically you never even died, so I don’t know what you’re bitching about.

---

Dr. Facilier: Are these human eyes?

Crow: Put those back.

Dr. Facilier: They were in the oven!

Crow: ...it was an experiment.

---

Shanty: You can't eat a hot dog wearing a tuxedo!

Varian: (takes bite) This hot dog's not wearing a tuxedo.

---

Nil: So where are you from? Heaven?

Kattz: Yeah, I’m a ghost. I died fifteen years ago, like that pickup line.

[Vero]

Clopin Trouillefou: Bonjour, ca va bein?
Hades: Fuck outta here with that shit, I don't speak croissant

~~~~~~~

Jasper: You didn't make much of an argument, Shani. You kind of just belittled Kopa.
Shani: Sometimes that's just what debating is.
Jasper: ..I believe your opening statement was "Who the fuck does this guy think he is?"

~~~~~~~

Edgar on the phone: I've got a bag of... uh... cookies for you. All you have to do is to come out into the dark shadowy part of the palace where no one can see you.
Thomas:... Okay.

~~~~~~~

Taylor: I spy with my little eye something that starts with "S"
Megara: *Looks over and see's Jenn and Hades arguing*
Megara: Sexual tension?

~~~~~~~

Frollo: met a imbecil today, awful.
Crow: You looked in a mirror?
Frollo: someday you will have to answer for your actions and god may not be so merciful

~~~~~~~

Silver: Training like this, it's like a bit nostalgic for you, no?
Hikaru: Brings a lot of trauma back.

~~~~~~~

Maleficent *walking into Agrabah*: It's free real estate.

~~~~~~~

Huela: The Gourmand wasn’t always such a mischievous being.
Flynn: “Mischievous”?! If the Gourmand is “Mischievous”, then Hannibal Lecter “Is ever so naughty”.

~~~~~~~

Jaspee: Now, I really don’t like being Den mother to you three!
*Shani, Boso, and Rapunzel look at her in disbelief*
Jasper: Fine, it’s like crack to me.

~~~~~~~

Varian: I may not get as much sleep as you, but can you do this?
Varian: *stands up and immediately faints*

~~~~~~~

Nasira: Hello Aladdin, long time no see. Except in my revenge fantasies where I see you on an hourly basis. 

~~~~~~~

Thomas: Well, this muscle shirt's a pretty good find.
Nasira: Thomas, that's a sports bra.
Thomas: All I know is I'm finally getting the support I need.

[Spines]

Gourmand: You see that brick wall over there?

Gourmand: Interrupt me one more time and I'm going to go Cask of Amontillado on your ass.

[Nasira]

Flynn: I mean, small creatures are way more vicious. It's because their anger has less space to be bottled up in.
Imelda: Ridiculous. Give me some examples of this.
Michi: Spiders.
Grey Brother: Wasps.
Flynn: Terriers.
The Gourmand: Huela.

---

Thomas: You're a robot. You're made of computers and code and stuff. Shouldn't you be a great hacker?
Tabs: You're a human. You're made of cells and bones and stuff. Shouldn't you be a great doctor?

---

Angel: I'm doomed!
Dobson: Well, you've lived a good life, right?
Angel: I'm only one!
Buster: He said good, not long.

---

Taylor: (about Buster and Dobson) They’re cute. I would put them on a boat.
Aurelio: You mean you…ship them?

---

Rapunzel: I sent good vibes your way. They're coming. There's nothing you can do to stop them.
Flynn: This is the most threatening way I have ever been cheered up.

---

Owl: Dad, can we get ice cream?
Kattz: Did you ask your mom?
Owl: Mom said "no."
Kattz: Then why are you asking me?
Owl: 'Cause she's not the boss of you.
Kattz: (internally) This is a trap, this is a trap, this is a trap, this is - 

---

Dhall: It's impossible to say the word "bubbles" and make it sound threatening.
Nevada: . . .
(Fifteen minutes later ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ)
Jasper: Does someone care to tell me why Nevada has been angrily screaming "bubbles" on top of Pride Rock for the past fifteen minutes?

---

Bob: (walks into an art museum) I'm here to donate myself.

---

(sometime after A T O N E M E N T)
Thomas: Mortaray, you're bleeding out a lot and are going to need a transfusion. What’s your blood type?
Mortaray: (coughing) B…positive...
Thomas: (panicking) I'm trying, but you're bleeding a lot!

---

Imelda: I'm, as the kids say, "awake."
Michi: Don't you mean "woke?"
Imelda: Yes, but that's grammatically incorrect.

---

Edgar: Surgery is just stabbing someone to life.

---

Aladdin: Who buys an umbrella? You can get them for free in the coffee shop, in the metal cans.
Mulan: ...those belong to people.

---

(police sirens in the distance)
Shani: They found me. D:

---

Hades: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Jenn: Did you just call me Satan?
Hades: o_o

---

Nasira: Did I ever tell you how pretty you are when you're angry?
Maleficent: Well, I must be gorgeous because I'm furious!

---

Perthmail: (to Keto and Velvet) Agrabah holds a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some...
Perthmail: No, no, all bad.

---

Crow: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?
Nasira: You mean literally or figuratively?
Crow: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

---

Frollo: It's not typically how I get my information.
Crow: How do you typically do it?
Frollo: I find the person. And then I put the fear of God into them until they talk. But we can try your way.

---

Jasper: Look, Nala, I -
Nala: No, no. I played this entire confrontation out like ten times in my head, so if you could stick to the script, that would be great.

---

Castle: (parking the car) Can you get a table?
Clopin: Sure.
(a few minutes later)
Clopin: (sprinting out of the restaurant carrying a table) START THE CAR!

---

Boso: Is the Blackblood Legion really that bad?
Hikaru: It's just like the Hamptons, only fucking horrible.

[Jenn]

Jenn: Ya know, synonyms are weird. If you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that sounds all nice and cozy, but if you invite someone to your cabin in the woods, someone’s gonna be murdered.


Taylor: HA! My favorite is “butt-dial” and “booty call”.


Castle: *adjusts glasses* Well, it’s called connotation, a-


Clopin, smirking: Also, “Forgive me, Father, I have sinned” and “Sorry, Daddy, I’ve been naughty”


Jenn, blushing furiously: AND LANGUAGE IS NOW CANCELLED!


----

Shiloh: How's your day going?


Aurelia: Terrible, I want to stab everyone here.


Shiloh: Okay, don't get any blood on your clothes. It's awfully hard to wash out.


Thomas: You shouldn't be condoning this!

Shiloh: Don't tell me how to live my life.

----

Shani: *has a plan*


Nala: Actually, I'm in charge, in case any of you have forgotten.


Shani: I remember. I just don't care.

----

Jenn: *shakes Hades awake* There're some lightly fried fish fillets for dinner.


Hades: Jenn? What are ya doing in my room? At... 1:15 in the morning?


Jenn: Do you want lightly fried fish fillets or not?


Hades: Well, yeah.


Jenn: I thought so. Let's get downstairs while they're still hot.


Hades: Wait, did ya just make 'em?


Jenn: Yeah. I decided I wasn't tired, so I decided to make some lightly fried fish fillets.


Hades: Say "lightly fried fish fillets" one more time.


Jenn: I might have also used your kitchen to make the lightly fried fish fillets.


Hades: I'm gonna kill ya. I swear to me, I'm gonna kill ya.

----

Boso: I’m so lazy.


Shani: Don’t you dare!


Michi: I can’t do anything right.


Shani: SHUT UP!


Jasper: I’m just not good enough.


Shani: I WILL PUNCH YOU WITH LOVE!

----


Nala: I am a very bad person. I am a very very bad person. I am a horrible person.


Kiara:


Kopa:


Kanzi:


Jasper:


The entirety of the freedom fighters:


Nala: "No you're not Nala, we still love you Nala."

----

Shiloh: [standing outside Nasira's bedroom] NAS, WE HAVE TO GO! COME OUT!


Nasira: I’M BI.


Shiloh: NOT WHAT I MEANT BUT I STILL SUPPORT YOU.

[Spines]

Nala: I am your queen!
Random FF: We didn't vote for you.
Nala: You don't vote for a queen.

[Marius]

Frollo: “You always believe that everything is going to work out. How do you do it?”

Marius: “Well, I’ll tell you my secret, sir. -Marius takes a deep breath as he smiles.-


I lie to myself. -His smile drops.-


Every morning, when I wake up, I say 'everything’s going to be okay,' but I’m lying. -He grabs Frollo by the shoulder and squeezes it lightly.-


And I don’t know how much longer I can do it. -He lets out a prolonged, strained, guttural squeal of utter suffering.-


Have a swell night, sir~!” -Marius walks off cheerfully.-

[Slugsworth]

Slugsworth: Are you telling me you never visited your wife and your son?

Gourmand: My what and my son?

Slugsworth: You never got married??

Gourmand: What is that?  Some kind of food?

Slugsworth: No, it's-- when two people love each-other very much--

Gourmand: Oh my god, I'm just fucking with you.  Who doesn't know what marriage is?  And love?  You're making a lot of assumptions here.

[Rhea]

Rhea: When in doubt, hit someone in the face with a bat.

---

Python: Caught a big ol' case of the fuck you's. 

---

Kopa: Wait, where did the—

Kion: [The star]'s in the center one. It's the center.

Kopa: Oh, go fuck yourself.

Kion: Nonono, it's okay. You can do this. You can do this.

Kopa: Uuuuuuhh.

Kion: It's okay.

(Kopa launches Mario into the Pachinko Game, is hovering directly above the center)
Kion: Yes. Yes, just fall. Just—

(physics engine suddenly sends Mario sliding away and flying to his death)
Kopa: OH! OH MY GOD! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

Kopa: What happened?

Kion: WHAT HAPPENED?!

(Mario falls into the abyss)

Kion: NOOOOO—(laughs)

Kopa: I'm out. I'm OUT.

Kion (laughing): What happened?

Kopa: I'm OUT.

Kion (laughing): Oh my God.

Kopa: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SHIT? THAT IS BULLSHIT!

Kion (laughing): Oh my Go—

Kopa: DON'T EVEN TELL ME THAT SHIT'S FOR REAL!

Kion (whispering): Afua, keep this in.

Kopa: I am so fuck—AAAAGGHH!

(loud banging noises in the distance)

Kion (laughing): Oh my God.

Kopa: DAMMIT!

Kion: That's legit anger.

(Kopa cries)

Kion (laughing): Oh my God, Kopa.

Kopa: MARIO SUNSHIIIINNNEEEE!

Kion: What happened?

Kopa: (sound of something breaking) AAAAAGGGHHH!

Kion: OH MY GOD! (laughs) Oh my God! Oh my God, that was a lot of property damage just there.

Kopa: EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!

(Kion laughs more, Kopa cries more)

Kion: Ugh...Kopa...Kopa?

Kopa: WHAT?

Kion: You maybe, just, wanna go back to Gelato Beach and we can just hang out and have some fun..have some fun times?