Incorrect Conquest Quotes

[Jenn]

Michi: Okay, here’s the plan. Have you seen Home Alone?

Rapunzel: Michi, no.

Michi: Just one booby trap!

Rapunzel: Michi!

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Boso: I think you should play the role of my father.

Flynn: I don’t want to be your father.

Boso: That’s perfect. You already know your lines.

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Shani: Name a way to be nice to others.

Kopa: Don't kill them!

Shani: That's setting the bar a little low, but I'll allow it.

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some prophet: and thus i heard the angels of the dawn choir singing with the morning dawn.

Jenn with a shitty $10 kareoke machine at ass-crack in the morning: BORN AND RAISED IN SOUUUUTH DETROOOIT HE TOOK THE MIDNIIIIGHT TRAIN GOING ANYYYYYWHEREEE

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Nasira: He was singing along to a song on the radio uh… I want it that way?

Cassie: Backstreet boys, I'm familiar.

Cassie: Okay. -presses the speakers- Number one, could you please sing the opening to “I Want It That Way”?

Clopin: Really? Okay. -coughs- ♪You are My fire♪

Cassie: Number two, keep it going.

Flynn: ♪The one desire-♪

Cassie: Number three.

Kopa: ♪-Believe When I say♪

Cassie, now hyping it: Now Number four!

Hunter: ♪I want it that way!!♪

Cassie: Tell me why!

All, now into it: ♪Ain’t nothing but a heartache♪

Cassie: Tell me why!

All: ♪Ain’t nothing but a mistake♪

Cassie: Now number five!

Rafael: ♪I NEVER WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY-♪

Cassie: WOO!

All: ♪I want it that way!♪

Cassie: ah, chills. Literal chills.

Nasira: It was number five. Number five killed my Brother.

Cassie: Oh, my God, I forgot about that part.

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Cassie: There's a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn't that kind of the point?

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Cassie: It's gonna take more than an insult to ruin a morning that started out with a whipped cream smile on my waffle!

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Cassie: I do not believe in weeds. A weed is simply a flower that someone decides is in the wrong place.

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Cassie: You know the best thing about this war? It's so bad, it's gotta be the last one!

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Clopin: What are you doing...?

Taylor: What does it look like I'm doing? Digging a grave for a unicorn.

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The Gourmand: How long do cats live? Like, assuming you don't throw 'em under a bus or something?

Michi: ….

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Jenn: You're skipping work?

Clopin: I called in sick.

Jenn: Called who? You're the boss.

Clopin: I know, it was a very strange conversion.

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Cassie: Hey, I can be dark and brooding t — Guys, look, a rainbow!

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Rhea: [to Jenn] would you do me the honour of becoming my daughter in-law?

Hades: Did you just propose FOR ME?

Rhea: SOMEONE HAD TO!

[Spines]

Boso: But you wouldn't eat another merperson, would you Gourmand?

Gourmand:

[Morren and Esca]

Morren: Why dae folks ask babies stupid shite like "ur gettin big aren't ya" As if the wee cunts gony be like "aye Moira yer spot on I'm oan the protein".

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Rebecca: Oh Emily, you're back early!
Emily: Moon's haunted.
Rebecca: What?
Emily: *loading shotgun on her way out again* Moon's haunted.

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Morren: Is my condition ruff?
Esca: I didn't get a medical degree to hear your shit jokes.

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Kula: MOM! There's a monster under my bed! It's the most hideous thing I've ever seen!
Simba: Why do you hate me, sister?

[Ajax]

Zira: I love all my children equally.
*later the same day*
Zira: I don't care for Nuka.

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Sarabi: You all are not!
Aujaq: YAINT!
*Sarabi's eye twitches*

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Morren: Well it was great hearing your voice, I missed you all day! See you tonight! Love you, bye! *hangs up phone* It was my dog.

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*Emily with a pot of water*
Jenn: What are you doing?
Emily: I'm making holy water.
Jenn: How is that holy water?
Emily: I'm boiling the hell out of it!

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Random BL: C'mon, shake what your momma gave ya!
Kula: My mother was the most selfish woman I've ever met! She never gave me anything!
Random BL: Alright! Jesus!

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Emily: (about Hades) His hair? WACK! His gear? WACK! His jewellery? WACK! His foot stance? WACK! The way that he talks? WACK! The way that he doesn't even like to smile? WACK! Me? I'M TIGHT AS FUCK!

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Thomas: Hey, how you doin--
Esca: *snarling and growling*
Thomas: *screaming* GET YOUR FUCKING DOG, BITCH!
Morren: He don't bite.
Thomas: YES HE DO! GET THE--

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Clopin: You may now kiss the bride.
Hades: asterisk nuzzles and kisses asterisk.
Jenn: X D!
Clopin: -_-

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Sarabi: Why did Shani call my phone?
Kopa: I dunno, did you answer it?
Sarabi: Yeah!
Kopa: So that means she told you why.
Sarabi: DON'T YOU BE GETTING SMART WITH ME!
Kopa: I JUST ASNWERED YOUR QUESTION!
Sarabi: I'M NOT PLAYING THESE GAMES!

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Sarabi: YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN?
Kopa: I don't even drink so don't start with that again!
Sarabi: THEN WHO'S WATER IS THIS?
Kopa: I NEED WATER TO SURVIVE!
Sarabi: YOU KNOW WE DON'T DRINK IN THIS HOUSE!

[Nasira]

Marahute: Screeeeeeeeeeeeeech. (translation: You think I enjoy being mother hen to all of you?)
Marahute: Kikikiki-ki-ki-kuk...kuk...kuk...kuh (translation:...okay, fine. It's like crack to me).

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Shan Yu: Anyone at the gym with no headphones is training to avenge someone's death.

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Morren: How long are we gonna stand here and let him do that?
Esca: Just give him a minute.
Thomas: (pushing on a door that clearly says pull)

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"It's not you're or your. It's all mine. Everything is mine."
    - Maleficent

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"If you really loved me, you wouldn't be eating chips in bed."
    - Jasper to Nevada

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Kopa: Hey, Boso, can I copy your homework?
Boso: You will fucking fail if you copy me.

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Taylor: Please, please stop calling eyes "orbs."
Bob: You have beautiful head spheres.
Clopin: You have gorgeous sight melons.
Belle: You got some nice face balls.

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Lars: What are you doing?
Shere Khan: (puts an egg in the toaster and the bread in the frying pan) I'm making breakfast.
Lars: Yeah, I'm not hungry.

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Rapunzel: Eugene, can I speak to you for a minute? In private.
Flynn: Ooh, someone's in trouble. It's me. I don't know why I did that.

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Cassie: I have edge.
Sol: You really don't. You are literally the most wide-eyed person I've ever seen. You have the face of a cartoon lamb.

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Maleficent: You really wanna go there with me?
Nasira: Oh, went there, bought a house, moved in, and now I'm remodeling the kitchen.

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(Kiara and Shani are at a restaurant)
Kiara: So, what are you getting?
Shani: (sets menu down) I can't read.

[Dotty]

Jenn: I'm disgusted! I'm revolted! I dedicate my whole life to our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ and this is the thanks I get?

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Thomas: *singing* Hey, how're you doing? Well, I'm doing just fine. I lied. I'm dying inside.

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Zira: *sobbing* Scar! Scar! Entrails of my soul! The core of my heart! My tender love! How could this happen?
Sarafina: ...
Zira *still sobbing* There is no template for this pain, no words of comfort!
Sarafina: ...
Zira: SAY SOMETHING!
Sarafina: Shit...fuck...sometimes it really do be like that.

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Greek Bard: Sing, oh muse, the rage of Achilles the Son of Peleus, that brought countless ills upon the Greeks...
Jenn: This bitch fucking slaps!

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Maleficent: (about the Blackblood Legion) A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.

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Shani: Can I say a bad word?
Shani: *louder* CAN I SAY A BAD WORD?
Jasper: Yeah
Shani to Kopa: You motherfucking bitch.

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Zira: I hate you, Simba, I hate you so much that I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then, I will steal them and feed them to sharks and you'll be so heartbroken that you'll never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another person's babies to sharks.
Blackblood Legion: *takes two steps back from her*

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Emily: Swear on your fucking YEEZYS, if you wanna fight then we gonna fight.

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Kopa: I just tried watermelon on pizza. Honestly? It was pretty good!
Boso: That's him, officer, that's the guy right there. Shoot him before he gets away!

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Ouija Board: A L I V E
Facilier: Alive? ALIVE? is it saying it’s alive?
Ouija Board: S T A Y I N A L I V E
Facilier: Shit this is a Bee Gee board

[Kopa]

AN OLD CLASSIC
-
Jasper: KITCHEN DUTY!
Aladdin: *falls to knees like its the end of the world.* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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Kopa: I'm not ALWAYS a jerk. I'm not a jerk on Wednesdays.

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Kula: I'M SUPER CREEPY
Kopa: POLICE!!!!!! POLICE!!!!!!
Kopa: 911!
Kopa: Yes, I'd like to file a restraining order, please.

----
Kopa: I PUSHED A BLIND KID TO MAKE MYSELF FEEL STRONGER!
Everyone: ...
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Kopa: Raise your hand if you loathe or dislike me.
All the Dawnseekers (except Afua): *raises their hand*
Kopa: ...

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Shani: *cough* I'm with stupid *points next to her*
Kopa: *is next to her*

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Kopa: *To Nasira* I think there is an ugly toad on your face
Nasira: *feels face, but there is no toad*
Kopa: *laughs* Oh wait, that IS your face.
Nasira: ... I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE BAST-

[Spines]

Esmeralda: Spines speaks in catchphrases. I’d be talking to him and I’d say, “Spines, you’re such a great friend. I really value our time together.” And he’d say, “wiggity whack I’m on crack.”


~*~


Boso: So my friend gets the yelling of the century and-- I’m not there, I snuck out. My friend is getting yelled at and I’m looking in through the window and he looks at me like, “Boso… you’re the worst friend ever”. And I was. ‘Cause I went home and ate chicken nuggets.


~*~


Flynn: C’mon Gourmand you heifer, let’s do some squats.


Gourmand: I’m in a wheelchair you asshole.


~*~


Clopin: Oh look it’s Turbo! Do you want a biscuit boy, do you want a biscuit?


Turbo: D. Do you think I’m a dog?


Clopin: HAVE A BISCUIT! *throws biscuit in Turbo’s face*

[Nasira]

Thomas: I promise nothing and deliver less.

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Morren: I wish I could get Thomas to open up a little bit. Share some of his feelings.

Esca: That's easy! You just have to think of him as a - as a jar of pickles that won't open.
Morren: So, what are you saying; I should run him under hot water and bang his head against a table?
Esca: (smiles) 

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Shan Yu: Did you just refer to a sword as a people opener?
Tabs: Should I not have?

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Nasira: Close your eyes…visualize an ocean.
Perthmail: AAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Nasira: A calm ocean.
Perthmail: Oh. Okay…

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The Gourmand: I hope you have a good explanation for this.
Quintus: We have three!
Septima: You can pick your favorite.

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"Something, um, not that chill happened last night..."
    - Nevada

[Dotty]

Rapunzel: Have you experience with children?
Flynn: Yeah, I chill all the time.
Rapunzel: No, like, a baby
Flynn: I was one of those.

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Ajax: Y'all'd've'f'ld've!
Shani: You all would have if I would have?
Kiara: That's almost a full sentence of contractions...
Sarabi: The South is out of control.

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Jenn: Hey, can I have some of your water?
Emily: It's not water.
Jenn: VODKA! Nice, I like your style--
Emily: It's vinegar.
Jenn: What?
Emily: It's vinegar, bitch!

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Zira: I love all my children equally.
Nuka: Mother! The others and I were attacked while you were away!
Zira: IS KOVU OKAY?!

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*Jenn trips on air*
Hades: Ha! Babe, you're so clumsy!
*later when no one is around to see*
Hades: *punching the air* Who do you think you are? WHO DO YOU THINK--

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Clopin: Ask me why I love you.
Belle: *blushing* Okay, why do you love me?
Clopin: *pulls out a 200 slide powerpoint* I'm glad you asked!

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Shan Yu: Okay so, in your professional opinion, how would I die?
Nasira: Murder. Gangland style execution. We never find your head.
Shan Yu: That's a shame.
Tabs: *raises hand to ask*
Nasira: You slip in a tub.

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Clopin: So, if you took a drink every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?
Belle: Maybe a bit tipsy?
Jenn: Drunk.
Taylor: Wasted.
Emily: Dead.

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Boso: Anyone else feel good when their brains release a bunch of endorphins?
Shani: Can't relate.
Kopa: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

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Hades: Good credit? Bad credit? No credit? No problem! Are you dead? FUCK IT! GHOST CREDIT!
Aladdin: I'm going to get a Subaru!

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Shani: CAN'T! WON'T! I'M! HAVEN'T! DON'T! ISN'T!
Rapunzel: The contractions are worsening.
Shani: YAIN'T!
Ajax: *grins*