Incorrect Conquest Quotes

[Jenn]

Michi: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life.

Kion: It would be nice to get my sense of purpose back.

Kiara: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.

Kanzi: My will to live! I haven’t seen this in years!

Kopa: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Shani: Mental stability, my old friend!

Michi: Guys, could you lighten up a little?

---

Dhall: We’ll need a name for the new army.

Mulan: How about…The Bitter Pills.

Flynn: Epic Failure.

Hikaru: Death Spiral.

Shani: Blind Leading the Blind Incorporated.

Dhall: …We need more time.

---

Thomas: What happened?

Chloe: I think I pulled a muscle.

Tucker: you can’t pull what you don’t have.

---

Flynn: Anybody under five foot seven can’t be talking about fighting anyone like what you do? Headbutt someone in the nipples?

Huela: Say bye to your kneecaps, asshole.

---

Kopa: Shout out to my parents for making the most perfect kid ever.

Shani: Congrats to Kion.

---

Kiara: I should be in charge!

Shani: Do you want to be in charge?

Kiara: No, but Id like to be asked..

---

Nala: You use to be a good cub

Kiara: And you use to be a good mother, now we’re even.

---

Clopin: Ahaha, nice. Now it’s your turn to be the starving orphan with the knife.

Varian: Don’t you think the title of this training is a little inappropriate?

Clopin: Don’t you think you should be trying to stab me for food, you orphan?

---

The Gourmand: Alright, you POOP NOBBLERS! Now I don’t want no screwing around with you batch of MEAT TOSSERS! Last group thought it would be funny to shove a CORN COB up a trainee’s BUNGHOLE! And you know what happened? They were asked to leave politely, and it was AWKWARD FOR EVERYONE! Alright, you, what’s your name?

Michi: Mi-Mi-Mi

The Gourmand: WELL SWEET MOTHER TERESA ON THE HOOD OF A MERCEDEZ BENZ, YOU SOUND LIKE A MAJESTIC FUCKING EAGLE!! DO YOU SING?!

Michi: *stutters*

The Gourmand: HARMONIZE WITH ME MAGGOT!

Michi: I don’t know if I can-

The Gourmand: *sings a very high note*

Michi: *struggles to harmonize with the note, then gets her head turned around by The Gourmand*



The Gourmand: What about you, muffin top? What’s your story?

Boso: Oh, well, my name is Boso and after I ace this training, I’ll be joining the Dawntreaders.

The Gourmand: Wow. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders.

Boso: Oh, well thank you so m- *gets headbutted by The Gourmand*

The Gourmand: Now listen up, you double deckered PIG FART! You don’t get to join the Dawntreaders, TIL AFTER, YOU PULL YOUR HEAD, OUT OF YOUR HAMSTER HOLE!

---

Thomas: I wish we could all just get along like we did when we were apprentices. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and we’d all eat it and be happy…

Jenn: He doesn’t even go here!

[Kopa]

Aladdin: A DAGGER!
Nasira: *Holding dagger behind back* Whatever do you mean?
Aladdin: There is an Obvious Dagger behind your back.
Nasria: *Curses Loudly* Sh-
Aladdin: *Punches and runs* Laters!

Kopa: Nightmares? About chickens?
Kion: What? No, no!
Kopa: CHICKENS! *Does The Chicken Dance*
Kion: Kopa, NO! STOP!
Kopa: BONK BONK

[Tabs]

Tabs: ...How do you know that?

Producer:  I saw it with my third eye.

Tabs:  I?  Didn't know you had a third eye.

Producer:  I have so many eyes.

Tabs:  ...

Producer:  I have eyes for days.

[Spines]

Crow: So Tabs, how old are you?

Tabs: I'm this many--

Tabs:

Crow:

Tabs:

Crow:

Tabs:

Crow: You didn't raise your hand.

Tabs: THAT'S HOW OLD I AAAAAAAM.

[Jenn]

Boso: What time is it?

Michi: I dunno, hand me that drum.

Michi: *playing the drum loudly*

The Gourmand: *bursts into the room* WHO IS PLAYING THE FUCKING DRUMS AT TWO AM?!

Michi: It’s two am.
---
Shani: I should probably tell people how I feel today.

Shani: It can’t be healthy keeping it all bottled in.

Shani: I need to open up to somebody.

Dhall: Hey, how are you?

Shani: I AM ABSOLUTELY FINE.
---
Atlas: you’re violent.

Michi: yeah but I’m small so it’s adorable.
---
Kopa: Um, I-I guess my question is, do you… do you think it’s too late for me? I mean am-am-am I just doomed to be the person I am? The-the person in this story? It’s not too late for me, is it? It's— it’s not too late— Shani, I need you to tell me that it’s not too late. I-I-I need you to tell me that I’m a good person. I know that I can be selfish and narcissistic and self-destructive, but underneath all that, deep down, I’m a good person, and I need you to tell me that I’m good, Shani. Tell me, please. Tell me that I’m good.

Shani: *Awkward Silence*
---
Clopin: Good morning Hade-

Cerberus: *loud snarling*

Clopin: *screaming* GET YOUR FUCKING DOG BITCH!

Hades: it don’t bite.

Clopin: BITCH YES IT DO!
---
Kiara: I love you.

Shani: I love you more.

Kiara: Well, I love you m-

Shani: Don’t start a game you won’t fucking win.
---
Kiara: were you ever nice?

The Gourmand: 1981, Worst year of my life.
---
Thomas: It’s just a moo point

Nasira: A moo point?

Thomas: Yeah. It’s like a cow’s opinion. It just doesn’t matter. It’s moo.

Nasira, to Shiloh: Have I been hanging out with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?

[Sable]

Lars: There we go, I finished painting the cloud. Moving on. (his canvas gets shot and sent flying leaving him just sitting there with a brush) ...I am approximately three seconds away from wreaking havoc on my undergarments.

-

Callista: Hey, I got the blue dye.
Shion: No, we'r- We're not allowed to use dyes, that's against the rules.
Callista: I'm gonna do it.
Shion: Don't- Don't use the dye, that's CHEATING! Don't use the dye!
Callista: I'm doing it.
Shion: No, no, NO, NO-
GOD- GOD DAMMIT!
GOD DAMMIT!
GUH-
GOD DAMMIT, GOD DAMMIT, GOD DAMMIT!!
GOD DAMMIT!!!
YOU BROKE THE RULES!
YOU BROKE THE RULES!!
EVERYONE'S GONNA BE MAD!! IS-
YOU BROKE THE-
YOU BROKE THE RULES!!!
YOU BROKE THE RUH-
GOD DAMN!!
YOU BROKE THE RULES!!!
YOU BROKE-
YOU BROKE 'EM!!!
YOU BROKE THE RULES!!!!
YOU BROKE THE RULES!!!!!
NOOO!!!
NOOOOOOOO, YOU BROKE THE RULES!!!!!!
YOU BROKE 'EM!!!!!!
YOU BROKE 'EM!!!!!!!
AAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
YOU BROKE THE RULES, YOU-
YOU CAN'T FIX IT!!!
GAHD, UUUGGGHHHH!!!
AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
(very very long silence, Shion just glares at Callista)
Callista: ...What?

[Sable]

Shion: Get rid of the couches! We can't let people know we SIT!!!

--

Rebecca: Ye ever wanty jus' wrap yersel up in tin foil nice and cosy and then just fucking get right inty the microwave and blow yersel up tae fuck?

--

Lars: (to Shere-Khan) Say, Beast of the Apocalypse! You look like you might need to be a little bit appeased. Is that right? Well, you know what that means! A little bit of sacrificial fruit, that's right. Make an offering. Avert the apocalypse. Far out.

--

Vinny: Y’know for years, scientists have wondered; can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’s ‘It’s Not Unusual’? and the answer is: Yes. You can. Provided that it is preceded by seven ‘What’s New Pussycat?’s It’s true.

[Sable]

I apologize for the double post but I gotta.



Shion: (tries to confront/attack Fenna)
Gourmand: BITCH I HOPE THE FUCK YOU DO! YOU'LL BE A DEAD SON OF A BITCH, I TELL YOU THAT!

-

Rebecca: So I saw ye hangin' out with that other girl yesterday...
Two-Tone: R-Rebeccaa, it's not what you think--!
Rebecca: (pulls out a knife) I WON'T HESITATE BITCH!

-

Johael: How much money do you have?
Lars: Uh, 69 cents.
Johael: Oh! You know what that means~!
Lars: (in tears) ...I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets...

-

Shani: Ok you know what! That's it! You're in time-out! Get on top of the barn, now!
Kopa: (on top of the barn, screaming) This pride is a fuCKING NIGHTMARE!!!!

-

Lars: (literally just wearing a towel like a cape)
Cruella: Oh my god, oh my god, what are you wearing??
Lars: (dramatically takes off glasses) Gucci.

-

Vinny: I spilled lipstick in your Valentino bag...
Callista: Wha-YOU SPI-- WUHLAWHWUHUH-- LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINO WHITE BAG?

[Nasira]

Maleficent: (after "No Going Back") It's time for Plan B.

Crow: We have a Plan B?

Maleficent: No, but it's time for one.

---

Nasira: I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere.

Shiloh: Nasira, you grew up in a desert.

Nasira: Don't remind me.

---

Shani: There was no father. I carried them, I gave birth, I raised them. I can't explain what happened.

---

Clopin: (to Frollo) You were banished because you were clumsy?

---

Jenn: It's over, Nasira! I have the high ground!

---

Perthmail: There's always a bigger fish.

---

Jasper: We need a distraction.

Tehanu: My time has come.

---

Shiloh: Your average pineapple, peeled and cut makes about 4.5 cups or 36 ounces of pineapple chunks. Cans of pineapple come in a variety of sizes the most common being 20 ounces and 46 ounces. Meaning a single pineapple generally won't fill up a single can perfectly, which also means every time you eat pineapple from a can somewhere someone else has the can that has the rest of that same pineapple. Meaning you can share a single fruit with a stranger from hundreds of miles away, and I think that's beautiful. 

Sarafina: How much sleep are you getting? 

Shiloh: Not enough. 

---

Clopin: Whose turn is it to give the pep talk today? 

Aurelio: It's Taylor's turn. 

Taylor: Fuck shit up out there but don't die. 

Bob: (wipes a tear away) Inspirational.

---

Tabs: We have fun at the Blackblood Legion, don't we, Thomas?

Thomas: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

---

The Council: We need to cut down on expenses this year so we'll be making some major funding changes -
Michi: (raises paw)
The Council: Your Club Penguin memberships will still remain active.
Michi: (lowers paw)

---

Tabs: Everything is connected. Nothing is also connected. 

Lindsay: (rubs both hands slowly down her face)

---

Maleficent: I can be flexible. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I'm flexible.

---

The Gourmand: I'm sorry. 

Flynn, narrating: The Gourmand wasn't sorry.

---

The Horned King: Don't go picking fights with me. I could make your life difficult. 

Nasira: (dryly) Wow. I wonder what it would be like to have a difficult life.

---

Aurelia: I made a marshmallow, Crow! See? His arms are crossed because he's mad at all the other marshmallows for annoying him. Do you like it? 

Crow: (choked up) It's okay.

---

Aurelio: (about Frollo) Can we kill him? 

Jenn: No. 

Aurelio: I could make it look like an accident. 

Clopin: …how? 

Jenn: Clopin, no! 

Clopin: Alright, no.

---

Nala: As my wise mother once said: get fucked.

Sarafina: I have never once said that.

---

Chloe: Boy did I get into trouble today.

Tucker: What happened?

Chloe: I don't even want to talk about it.

Tucker: ...did it have anything to do with all those sirens around noon?

Chloe: I SAID I don't want to talk about it!

[The Gourmand]

Gourmand: DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!

[later]

Slugsworth: DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!

Twotone: Wow. You do that too.

[later still]

Lars: DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!

Twotone: *side eyes Slugsworth* Wow. Lars is pulling a your dad.